Who are you calling fat?

Hooray, it’s ‘let’s all line up to kick the poor’ time again! This time it’s the Public Health Minister, Anna Soubry. She thinks you can spot a pov easily when you want to put the boot in, because they’ll be fat and pasty:


Stands to reason see, we all know they sit around all day in their lavishly-furnished taxpayer-funded pads watching Jeremy Kyle and Judge Judy on their 42″ plasma tellies. But wait! It’s not just because they’re lazy. Poor people’s kids are getting fat because they’re stupid, too:

Often junk food tends to be “cheap” and parents think it is the only way to feed their children, she said. Even on her way to work at Westminster, she sees parents taking their children to fast food shops to buy them unhealthy “breakfast buns”, she said.”

Haha, thicko povs, they’re so stupid they don’t know about quinoa and edamame beans. These poor people, they’re such bad parents. Look! They don’t even sit round a dining table!

“What they don’t do is actually sit down and share a meal around the table,” Miss Soubry told the Telegraph. “There are houses where they don’t any longer have dining tables. They will sit in front of the telly and eat.

Yes, because when people are having to choose between heating and eating because they can’t afford to do both, the obvious solution to their problems is to go out and buy more furniture. Of course, you have to have a flat or a house with rooms big enough to actually put a dining table in, but that doesn’t seem to have occurred to her as an issue. Perhaps because she has NO IDEA what being poor is actually like. Doesn’t stop her having a good old judge, though. In case you thought this was just one voice in the wilderness, here comes Harry Mount, getting a good run up:


This week, the editor of the Evening Standard, Sarah Sands, described a business breakfast attended by the great and the good at a hotel, which offered every treat the stomach could want – they all just had a piece of fruit. When I was at university, anorexia was most prevalent among the girls from the smartest boarding schools. Self-denial has become a competitive sport among the elite.

You see, rich people are just naturally so much better at everything, of course, so it’s no surprise they should have so much more self-control than the poor. That’s why we need to put their benefits onto cash-cards, so we can control what they buy, because the poor loves just can’t help themselves, can they? It’s for their own good. A nice diet of self-denial and misery will put them on the straight and narrow. And if they can’t treat their kids with cheap easily-available snack food, well it doesn’t matter, does it, because their kids have all that other good stuff going on in their lives. There’s really no need to try to make up for the tiny flat with no garden and the secondhand clothes and the no holidays and the cheap too-small trainers and the damp and the never getting a new bike or a phone or a trampoline like their mates do and the no prospect of anything better for the future. Tsk tsk. Over-compensating. Stupid poor people. Stupid FAT poor people. Here, it’s your turn for a kick now.


Edited not 7 hours after I wrote this blog because another one of them has popped up! Take a bow, Theodore Dalrymple, of, surprise surprise, The Telegraph again:


…an article positively dripping with class hatred, I mean look at this:

I happen to be staying at the moment in a provincial English town. Often in its centre I observe two fat mothers side by side pushing their almost equally fat infants in pushchairs grazing on milk chocolate hippopotami or cheeseburger-flavoured potato rings (it is never too soon to learn). These perpetual snacks have the great advantage of keeping the nippers quiet while their mothers discuss the shortcomings of their respective boyfriends; unfortunately they are harmful for longer-term and more important objectives.

Why is it acceptable to print such language about people? Because they can’t afford to sue you? Where is the Twitter outrage and the hashtag campaign and the counter-articles by fashionable young Oxbridge types for this misanthropy? Are we not important enough for you?


About furcoatnaenicks

Rants. Sporadically.
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One Response to Who are you calling fat?

  1. Cake of Doom says:

    I love your rants 😀 I get proper riled up with you as I read! Grrrrrr. I am so fed up of the poor only eating junk cos it’s cheap argument too, cos it is absolute bollocks. The only frozen food we eat is quorn sausages…and they are a treat! I mostly cook from scratch because it’s cheaper and better for us. Oh RAGE.

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